Jun 29 2008
Language Barriers or “Do you hear me?”
Everyone kept telling me to enjoy the diaper days because before you know it they will be teenagers. I could not believe that life could get more complicated than being surrounded by babies.
Well it it not FAIR, I tell you. My oldest is NOT even a teenager yet and most of the time I feel completely clueless as to what the heck his problem is. Most conversations seem to end with him saying “FINE” or “Yes Mom” or something similar. But it sounds like he is saying “Whatever. You can make me do what you want for now but in eight years (minus 10 months, 2 weeks, 3 days, 12 hours, 7 minutes, and 3 seconds) I will be free from your tyrannical rules. Then we’ll see who gets to drink caffeine, stay up all night, skip showers, abolish toothpaste and live on doritos…”
We do not even seem to speak the same language anymore. Something as simple as “please go get the mail” suddenly causes him to come down with a rash of complaints like “Why me? Didn’t I do my chores today? Why don’t you pick on someone else? Fine, I’ll get the mail…” My translation: You are a slave driver. I hate you. Maybe I can drop some of the mail in the ditch.
I ask “Did you shower yet today?” He retorts, “I showered last night.” My translation: My body, my problem. Back off, Mom!
I say “Dinner tonight is leftovers night.” We usually empty the fridge the night before shopping. Because I am not cooking, he replies “I’m not hungry yet.” My translation: If I have to put any effort at heating up my own food and bringing it to the table, I am not eating. Besides, Mom will probably feel guilty later and cook something. In the meantime, I can sit here and sulk.
Boy howdy. I miss the pampers and formula days. One cry meant hungry. Another cry meant hurt. I was pretty good at baby translation. I have a long way to go in my quest to understand the tween years. Does anyone have a tween to parent translation dictionary?
Seeing as those were probably the worst years of my life because my mother went through menopause the same time I hit puberty, let me assure you that your version of what he’s saying…is exactly right. And a few years later, I still see my mother in the same light! (We agree to disagree, however, she’s my mama and I love her!)
But, you’re a mother. And your first born is growing up. Rough it out and keep being his mother at this point, not necessairly his “friend”. If he has any human in him, he’ll rebound in a few short moments (well, I do anyway) and at the end of the day, you’re still super mom- making homemade lemonade, even if the kids want “Countrytime”.